Antinomy I

Can we learn to live with the knowledge of antinomies? I don't know forsure but I think I am starting to learn how. We want everything so neat and tidy that its unnatural to not undercut one side or the other.

I have not been very explanative of this concept or even the word antinomy yet so let me define it. 'Antinomy is an appearance of contradiction between conclusions which seem equally logical, reasonable or necessary.'*

On the ride to Texas this morning I started reading a book called Evangelism and the Sovereignty of God by J. I. Packer. It so far has been about the difficulties in balancing the duties of man and the sovereignty of God. Each is in itself undeniably true (assuming you believe in the Bible is holy Scripture). So far it has been a hard but good read. I look forward to finishing it tomorrow on the ride back home... or tonight if I can't wait.

But right now I'm tired because of great conversations that took place at a Denny's last night with Emily. Totally worth it but I'm running on 3 hours of sleep right now :)
I will continue this train of thoughts on what I read from the book as part of this series.

*Excerpt from J. I. Packer's Evangelism and the Sovereignty of God.

Next Chapter Beginning

I am having my new year early. I feel like winter is over And spring is around the corner. Now this isn't true, but I feel like it is...
It's going to suck when it snows haha

My mind feels really clear, I feel rested and ready for this next chapter of my strangely great life.

How did I get to where I am now? I didn't get where I am today from what I did yesterday. And I won't get to where I need to by what I do tomorrow alone.

I am okay with that, I don't need to rush anything, I think I'm on track as things are at the moment.

The right place at the right time. This is much more meaningful to me that it might first appear. I have placed weight on these words. I am at peace. I am ready for spring to come and contextualize my feelings.

But there will be probably darker day, colder days, between now and then. But I'm okay with that, I am at peace.

Be still my Soul!

Sometimes I wish I had a wilderness to retreat to when ever I needed to. But I find it increasingly difficult to justify a hunt for such a wilderness. My heart misses the wild and the untamed adventure. I miss the adventure into the uncharted and the dangerous. I can't lie about my secret longings for it, but I know in the end my patience will be rewarded even if it isn't in the way I would want it now. That Is the funny thing about life, no matter how much you feel a desire for something you can't be sure you know the most wise way to satisfy the desire. And that is even assuming that the desire is an appropriate one in the first place.

We are in the trenches of life and are by own own nature incapable of seeing the bigger picture. its only through the peace of Christ which surpasses all else that we can transcend our earthly discontentment (Philippians 4:7). That is really churchy and probably will turn some people off. but it is the truth, and of this I am sure. the Gospel has a hostile disposition toward all that is of the world, and the world is hostile toward the Gospel. So I can't speak this truth above and expect it to be taken well by those who don't know the Gospel, who don't know of this indescribable peace of which I speak.

We with in the fellowship of Christ's love have such great security in what we have been promised. I and most everyone else tend to forget this promise and it peace. I pray that the Lord would be kind and speak to my heart and reprove me in a way that I would be able to more fully rest in his promise. I know I have a long way to go before I'm done but I will be glad in the journey. What I have now is way more than enough for me.This leads me to "dangerous" and "radical" ideas about my life here on this crazy cool place. And that makes me smile :)

I want you to read parts of this.

I think I suck at keeping my bog up to date. I don't know why it is so hard for me but I can't ever decide what to disclose to the world...
I can't believe that life is moving so fast.. I feel like It is easy to lose track of it all. This includes myslef. I feel sometimes my life is too easily lead to one side or the other. I am not too prideful to resist any form of change but I can't lose myself in the fast pace world I find myself.

I am surrounded by some people (one in particular) that need some time to think and find reassurance. there is one that I want to sing a song to (or dedicate?). this is exactly what I want them to hear someone say. 

This chest is full of memories
Of gold and silver tears
I’ll give you more to own than
All of this
And I’ll give you more than years
For you were once a child of innocence
And I see you just the same
Your burdens couldn’t win or
Lose a thing
Oh, I’d tell you once again
But you’re always on the run

Slow your breath down
Just take it slow
Find your heart now, oh
You can trust and love again
Slow your breath down, just take it slow
Find your smile now, oh
You can trust and love again

If you leave I’ll still be close to you
When all your fears rain down
I’ll take you back a thousand times again
I’ll take you as my own
I would sing you songs of innocence
‘Til the light of morning comes
‘Til the rays of gold and honey cover you
In the sweetness of the dawn
But you’re always on the run

You’re not alone
You’re now a part of me
You feel the cure
I’ll feel the toil it brought you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgLZZViOV2A

I know this is lame But I always wish they would somehow find what they are seeking after. I don't why Im so insistent on this but I desire their good so I don't feel weird about it.

I cant describe how frustrating this thing is for insisting that i use bold and blue letters.................. I hate it and wish I could fight it... but is just a program on a computer so a fight isnt really possible...